I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was also diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. And I have social phobia. I don’t have any friends. I have lost my scholarship due to my depressive episodes during examinations. My dad is almost bankrupt. My brother hates me. My mom is neurotic. I have not talked to a soul in the last six days. I have not been attending classes either. Nobody seems to care about me. I sweat 281.97 gallons per second. I have only two pairs of formal clothes which i have to wear every other day to college. I have outgrown all the others. This is because I am afraid to go out and get new own clothes. I think of committing suicide daily. I am a stupid guy. I do not remember anything i read. My college has one of the best libraries in the country but I don’t go there because there are lots of people there. I love books. But it is not enough to overcome my social phobia. I don’t have any table manners. When I am around people talk about what a disgusting person I am. This is not a delusion. I stay shut in my room all day long. I order my food through the phone from nearby restaurants. I tremble and stutter when i pay the delivery guy. I lose hair as if someone has poured caustic soda on my head. I am surrounded by rich kids. I am left out from everything. I don’t talk to anyone in class. I sit in the last row since I am very much embarrassed by my bowel sounds. I have to go to the loo atleast 7 to 8 times a day. I suck at mathematics but i love physics. I can’t even do simple single digit calculations. I am not kidding. I would have gone for an engineering degree if I had been a bit better at mathematics. I am in the medical field now and through this I will be able to fulfill my dream of helping out the needy for free. But I can’t get anything done because of the wreck I have become. I doubt that I will pass out of college. I do not have any intention of using my patients as money making machines. Most of the people I know over here have the exact opposite ideas. I am a complete idiot. I can’t even understand simple concepts taught in class. If i do understand then i will forget it within a few hours I do not understand why I have been created. Or why I have to go on struggling pointlessly in a world which hates me. I just don’t get it.

Somebody please help me.